What are you mourning for?

A friend of mine recently asked me this question, in connection to the terrorist attack on Mumbai.

And this is what I wrote back:

Like I have said before, each time something like this happens, it kills something in me. Its not something from which I can bounce back easily. Each time, it takes more and more active effort to overcome.

Im mourning at my own helplessness. At the same time, I am pondering over what I can do, however minuscule it may be.

(Though I am not entitled to) I am mourning at my misfortune of being governed by spineless bastards who are interested only in retaining their power at a time like this. Who do not even spare the father of an martyr from their vile games. I am disgusted by humans like these.

Im mourning over the petty ego games I(people) play, when death might just be an heartbeat away? And even though I know this, I still continue doing it. Why?

And the most, I am mourning at what *my* city is reduced to. This is not the Mumbai I know.

I am really missing all my friends right now. But each's life takes different twists and turns and takes everyone further and further away.

Given time, it will wash away the hurt. But I want to come back to this post some day, and remember this feeling.